How To See And Get Free From Toxic People!

How to see and get free from toxic people;

Toxic people tend to drag you down and make you feel awful; in this video we’ll explore how to truly see and get free!

Here are 8 signs of a toxic relationship;

1. You feel obligated to spend time with that person and fearful of telling them if you don’t want to hang out.

2. You feel like you’re putting on a front when you’re with them and don’t feel like you’re really being yourself

3. You wonder if they really care about you

4. You worry that they are talking badly about you when you’re not there

5. You suspect they see you as less than; not as attractive, smart, interesting or in another way, not as good as they are, or even as their other friends are

6. You feel exhausted by time with them instead of energized

7. You feel depressed, anxious, or negative after being with them instead of uplifted, joyful, encouraged, or happy

8. You sometimes wonder what it would be like to separate from that person for good; and you think it might be a relief.

If any of these eight signs rang true for you, stay tuned; you’re likely in a toxic relationship and need help sorting it out and getting out!

How do we end up in a relationship that is toxic to us?

1. It often sneaks up on us; as a relationship starts out positively when everyone’s on best behavior, but goes south when everyone’s more comfortable.

2. We often get sucked into staying because the beginning was good and we think we can “get back to that great place.” Don’t be duped by that kind of thinking; the current behavior is what you’ve got and if it’s not great, don’t think you can recapture the early behavior; that was like I said, everyone being on best behavior and is not likely the real person in their daily selves. This is what you have; like it or leave it!

3. And sometimes we have to look at ourselves and ask why we allow others to treat us poorly without setting limits and boundaries. You may want to go back and watch the two videos on boundaries.

Some general Types of toxicity;

1. The controlling, self-centered one; this is the person who is always all about themselves; if they are not the center, they’re miserable, and if they’re not in control, heads will roll. Being with them likely makes you feel anxious as you’re constantly having to monitor their mood and emotions, and whether you’re all paying enough attention to them.

1. The emotional vomiting one; this person often sees themselves as the victim in every circumstance. They continually bombard you with the drama of their lives to the extent you feel overwhelmed. Sometimes you start as a compassionate friend for them but later realize they are not seeking to move forward into a new chapter; that Any positive suggestions are not needed or heeded and you feel like your breath is wasted. You realize they are continually wallowing in this stuck place; looking for sympathy and to be coddled. Although compassion and caring are obviously important in our relationships, this is not that; this person wants you to rescue them; and honestly that’s not our job and not possible. In this person’s presence we often feel exhausted and depressed.

1. The gossip; this person talks down about people constantly. You might notice that this is their primary or even their only source of conversation. At first you feel special because they build you up while running others down, but eventually you realize you’re probably the source of the put downs when you’re not there, And for sure, you’re right! You have a hard time telling this person you’re not going to hang out when they ask; partly because you don’t ever want to be the subject of their put downs and partly because you realize you’re not really valued or cared about and want to keep trying to earn that spot.

1. The angry one; this person is chronically angry at the world; they hate their boss, their job, their spouse, their siblings, their neighbors; it doesn’t matter, they are angry and venting all the time. Initially you think you’re valued as a good friend who supports their difficult life, but eventually you realize their anger has an addictive quality and they seem to love their venting; the more curse words, the better! You often feel down after hanging out with them as this toxic anger is just draining.

1. The sickly one; hypochondriacs are another form of toxicity as hanging with them means listening to the endless details of their current ailments. Often you initially have compassion but later realize this is a chronic condition of their emotions; they seem to need to be the to garner sympathy and support through focus on their ailments. Eventually you’re not sure if these are legitimate physical problems, or more of a habit of maximizing the normal aches and pains of life.

Of course, we all are sad, sick, frustrated or needing to vent sometimes, but toxic people are this way all the time and suck the life out of you with their needs. They rarely let up, and they never offer any reciprocity.

What to do;

1. Realize the truth of what you’re seeing in them; that it is what it is;

2. see what they see in you; what’s often true of toxic people is that they have a knack for zeroing in on people-pleasers. If you’re a people-pleaser, you’re in their cross-hairs and to get free you have to realize that your specialness to them is not a good thing.

3. Take care of yourself by setting boundaries with and/or separating from anyone that rings true for the top 8 signs and who fits one of the types of toxicity.

4. Take care of yourself by finding others who are able to have healthy relationships; who are open, sharing, fun, energizing, positive, engaging, uplifting, and reciprocal.