Histrionic Personality Disorder!

Histrionic Personality Disorder

HPD is the theatrical, dramatic, and has the most wildly swinging moods, of the personality disorders.

First a note; In this age of diagnosing ourselves and others with a bit of knowledge gleaned off the internet, I want to start by talking about the severity of a personality disorder;

This is one of the Cluster C personality disorders and as any of these it is characterized by an enduring pattern that starts by early adulthood and continues. The person’s inner experience and outward behavior deviate markedly from that of the culture, and manifest in two or more of the following areas;

Cognition; ways of perceiving and interpreting yourself, other people, and events. This means that your perceptions are typically way off base and you and others are affected by these internal stories that are a serious deviation from reality. You can notice this by checking in with others and finding that you’re off base a lot of the time. In everyday terms, people often tell you you’re “being crazy.”
Affectivity; refers to the range, intensity, instability, and appropriateness of emotional response. This is about how your emotions swing wildly from one extreme to another with intensity and are often inappropriate to the situation at hand.
Interpersonal functioning; this refers to how you handle relationships. This, by definition, is severely impaired and you often wonder how to relate to others in a way that is more appropriate and connective.
Impulse control; this typically means that what you feel, you act on without any filter or self-control.

In addition, the pattern is inflexible and pervasive across a broad range of personal and social situations.

The pattern leads to clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. This refers to how you’re struggling in most areas of your life and when you step back and look at it, this pervasive pattern of personality characteristics is the root cause.

Histrionic specifically refers to; A pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts as indicated by five or more the following;

Is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention. A lot of people at this point will look at the similarities to Borderline and Narcissistic personalities and yes, this aspect is similar. It might be helpful to think about how the internal driving force of each is different; the driving force of the narcissist is control, power, dominance; the driving force of the borderline is avoiding abandonment. The driving force of the histrionic is attention. The histrionic has a pure, childlike demand, need, craving, and deep need to be the center of attention. They will seek and garner this attention in many ways; some of them clownish, some childish, some over-emotional, and some purely theatrical.
Interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate, sexually seductive, or provocative behavior. Again, this is attention seeking, and they will often regret these indiscretions but fall again as soon as an opportunity presents itself. These will often cheat on a partner as they are serially flirtatious and cannot turn down any offers of attention.
Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotion. This is the emotionality of the histrionic and is one of the most prominent features. They may be diagnosed or seen as “bipolar” but this is personality driven, not a chemical mood disorder. Their moods emanate from that deep need, based on whether they are getting the attention they crave in that moment. If not, look out; their emotions may flip from rage to tears to sexual flirtation, and back around the cycle again. These folks make you feel crazy when you’re in relationship with them.
Consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self. Again, it’s all about the attention and they may be very appearance driven as they seek what they need from others. They can be overly focused on appearance to the detriment of any internal introspection. Ironically when a relationship fails, rather than see what they are doing wrong, they often think they are not attractive enough.
Has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail. These folks tend to be superficial in their conversation; expressing, being very theatrical and overly dramatic, while saying nothing of substance. Flirtation is their primary language.
Shows self-dramatization, theatricality, exaggerated expression of emotion. Again, it’s all superficial and lacking of substance. This flattery, and flirtatiousness, may be contagious and attractive, and may lead down a path to initially appealing quick hook-ups, but any real relationship will be empty, devoid of connection, and ultimately a heartbreak waiting to happen as they hook up with the next shiny object.
Is suggestible and easily influenced by others or circumstances. Sadly, the deeper need is never going to be filled by the shallow flirtations and they will be at risk for being preyed on by more sinister personality disorders in order to get the attention they crave. So while some are going to break your heart, others will get their hearts broken as they really don’t read and get how they are being taken advantage of.
Considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are. Again, sadly, these hook ups are often meaningless to others, but the histrionic, getting some attention they crave, may feel they are “in love”. Reading this the wrong way, they may fall for the wrong person over and over, getting hurt and disappointed frequently. They may focus back on their appearance, rather than taking stock, and they may continue this pattern for years and year.

What would the solutions be for this person? As with any personality disorder, it’s best to have your own therapist to help sort through and get consistent feedback to help find healthier relationship strategies. In addition,

You’ll want to step back and take stock of who you are on a deeper level; looking at your values, your character qualities, and how to deepen and find expression for those.
Learn self-calming strategies to help you learn to be present with others rather than having to drain them of their attention in order to fill yourself up. Learn to get filled up from your own solo time, from your own “source” whether that is spiritual, nature, prayer, yoga, meditation, or just spending time on your own with a good book. If you fill yourself, you can begin to form connections with others from a whole person perspective, instead of expecting others to fill your empty spaces.
And finally, you’ll need to learn to listen and watch for honest feedback from others in the moment. What are the realities, not your stories? What’s appropriate response, not your impulse? How can you take care of yourself and your emotions in this moment, rather than dumping them on others or expecting others to fix and change to make you ok? How can you start to respond from within, from strength and from self-care, instead of reacting from empty, and needy?

Personality disorders often take years to resolve so don’t quit or become discouraged; it took years to develop and it will take time to change. Keep at it and celebrate every small victory.